Losing Control (Losing Control Series Book 1) Read online

  losing

  Control

  By Desiree Wilder

  Losing Control

  Copyright © 2013 by Desiree Wilder. All rights reserved.

  First Print Edition: August 2013

  Limitless Publishing, LLC

  Kailua, HI 96734

  www.limitlesspublishing.com

  Cover: Eden Crane Designs

  Formatting: Limitless Publishing

  ISBN-13: 978-1491079676

  ISBN-10: 1491079673

  No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to locales, events, business establishments, or actual persons—living or dead—is entirely coincidental.

  ~ Dedications ~

  This book is dedicated to women everywhere who are struggling, wanting and needing. Find yourself and your happiness and they will lead you to your truth and your peace. Don’t give up and don’t underestimate the power of positive thinking!

  Table of Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 1

  Gia

  I glanced up at the clock, 4:41 p.m. I swear that second hand keeps getting stuck. Well, only nineteen more minutes until I’m outta here for the weekend. I’d finished all my to-do’s for the day and even started on a few for Monday morning, as I had a feeling I’d need a jump start after the weekend I had planned.

  “Gia, I need you to type up a memo for me,” Mr. Evans demanded over the intercom. Shit! Just when I was in the home stretch!

  “Yes, Mr. Evans, I’m on my way,” I answered, trying not to sound too disappointed. Mr. Evans had been my boss for the last five years. He was good-looking, about six feet tall, and worked out a lot, so his body was fit and trim. He and his wife were smart set and vacationed a few times a year, so he was usually nice and sun-kissed, too. I really liked Mr. Evans, he was a very fair and understanding man. However, I was just ready to go, so I couldn’t help but be a little irritated.

  I opened the door to Mr. Evans’ office, which had the most unbelievable view of the city. It was a huge space with windows lining the east wall and a dark mahogany desk with a leather high-back chair in the center. The north wall was lined in mahogany bookcases that went all the way to the ceiling and the south wall had a bathroom which put the bathroom to shame in my little apartment. There was also a small gray couch with two matching chairs atop a huge indulgent gray and black rug, and artwork of the most serene places in the world scattered throughout.

  I couldn’t help but notice Mr. Evans seemed somewhat frazzled, unlike his usual cool, calm, and collected self. As he hurriedly put things in his briefcase and tidied up his desk, he started, “Gia, I’m sorry to dump this on you at the end of the day, but I need you to send a company wide e-mail ASAP explaining that the building is being inspected for the next few days as we’re having some foundation issues and we’re anticipating a brief delay for the upcoming work week. All staff is not to report to work Monday morning and tell them to check their e-mail Monday evening for further instruction for the remainder of the week.”

  No work Monday? A three-day weekend? A smile spread across my face so big I was sure if I hadn’t been looking down at my little notebook, Mr. Evans would have thought I just came. I blushed at the thought.

  He continued, “So, I’ll need you to assist me in getting that e-mail sent out when I get the information on Monday. I’ll let you know. Thank you, Gia.”

  “Of course, Mr. Evans.” I managed to stop smiling and look half way professional, even though all I wanted to do was jump up and down and shout, “three-day weekend, three-day weekend!”

  I think Mr. Evans could see right through me because as I got to the door to leave, he said, “Oh, and Gia?”

  I turned to see him with that light-up-the-room smile he had. “Yes, Mr. Evans?”

  “Have a good three-day weekend.”

  “Thank you, Mr. Evans, you do the same.”

  On the way back to my desk, I couldn’t help but wonder, and not for the first time, how Mr. Evans was in bed. Not that I wanted to sleep with him or anything, I mean he was fifteen years older than me, and his gorgeous wife was fifteen years younger than me, and both of them were really great people. I just wondered. I had a sex dream about him once, but just as he was about to enter me, my alarm jolted me awake. I couldn’t look Mr. Evans in the eye for a week after that, but every time he flashed that great smile of his, I could totally see what attracted a twenty-five year old beauty to him in the first place.

  As I finished up the e-mail, my stomach started doing flips. I didn’t know if it was because all I had eaten all day was a veggie salad or if it was because I was so stinking excited to get this weekend started, and now there was an extra day! As I pushed Send, I glanced up at the clock: 5:13 p.m.

  ***

  I got off the elevator in the parking garage and made my way to Frank. Frank was the only man in my life that was always there for me, never expected much from me, saw me at my worst, and still there he was, waiting for me, right where I left him.

  “Hi, Frank!” I said out loud, giggling to myself.

  “Still talking to your car, I see,” I heard a familiar voice say. I turned and saw Jason approaching from the corner of my eye.

  “Hey, Jason,” I said as I tried to hide my childish behavior. Jason was a sexy, smart, rich kid who worked a couple of floors above me as an investor. He and I met at a concert about a year ago and went on a couple of dates. Even though he was about eight years younger than me, we actually had a lot in common. I wasn’t looking for a relationship, as I’d only been divorced for about seven months, but my sister Lilly and my best friend Dana insisted it would be good for me. They both agreed I needed a good lay and he was just the man, or boy, for the job. We had a good time together, he was an amazing kisser, and I gave him an unforgettable blow-job, but when it came down to actually having intercourse, I couldn’t do it. I had only had sex with two other people, my high-school boyfriend on prom night, and my ex-husband, Lex. Jason was real sweet about it. He said he understood and that when I was ready, he would like to take me out again. I’d heard he’d been with several women since then, plus he was too young for me, so I didn’t see that happening, but he was a sweet guy, and you never know.

  “Hey, gorgeous!” he said as he put his hand on my arm and kissed my cheek. “Are you going to the rock festival this weekend?”

  “Of course!” I said enthusiastically, trying to hide the fact that his tiny touch, peck on the cheek, and smell of cologne made me wet and weak in the knees. Man, I do need to get laid!

  “Awesome! And now we have an extra day off to recuperate—it doesn’t get much better than that!” he said, and looked so damn good saying it.

  “I know, what a bonus!”

  “Well, maybe I’ll see you up there. Save me a dance, I would love to dance with you again if you’d let me.” He pretended to give me sad puppy dog eyes. This
guy was such a flirt, but it really worked for him.

  “We’ll see if I can fit you in, my schedule is pretty booked,” I joked.

  “I’m sure it is, but seriously, save me one.” Then he turned to Frank and said, “Get her home safe, Frank, we have unfinished business.” I didn’t know if he was talking about the dance or the intercourse—hell, I didn’t care—when a guy like this flirts with you, you just go with it.

  “Bye, gorgeous!” he said with a grin, pecked me on the cheek again, and he was off. Damn, you’d think I would’ve got me some of that when I had the chance. I wondered if I was ready now, if I could forget all that had happened in my failed marriage long enough to feed my body what it was starving for.

  “Home, Frank,” I said aloud with a giggle.

  Chapter 2

  As Frank and I were making the twenty mile trek to my friend’s house, we drove past the elementary school as the kids were having their evening baseball practice. They were so cute in their little white pants, matching team shirts and cleats. I remembered Lex and how he coached Little League. He couldn’t wait until we had our own family so he could teach them how to play sports, ride bikes, push them on the swings, and all the other stuff good dads taught their children. All the things I wanted so badly to give him, I tried so hard to give him all those years, only to disappoint him. I wonder how he’s doing. He met someone right after our divorce was final. She had a couple of kids from a previous marriage and Lex was more than happy to step into their little family. I couldn’t bring myself to attend the wedding even though several members of my family went. We’re still friends, the divorce was civil, split everything in half, neither of us fought for anything, just took our half and walked away like the last 10 years never happened.

  My phone began to vibrate, bringing me back to the present. I grabbed it and wiped the tears from my eyes.

  “Where are you? We’re ready to get this party started!” It was my best friend, Dana.

  “Sorry, I’m running a little late. I had some last minute stuff at work, be there in ten minutes.” I tried to sound upbeat, funny how some hard memories could bring you down so quickly.

  “Get on it, girl. There are hundreds of men waiting for us to show our tits at the concert tonight and we don’t want to keep them waiting!” Dana always knew what to say to get me in the concert-going party mood. I only lifted my shirt once at a concert and I was way beyond drunk. Dana, on the other hand, could barely keep hers on! She’d never been married and had only a couple relationships which lasted longer than a year, but she was a free spirit, very independent, owned a successful business, sexy and she knew it, and had helped me through some tough shit.

  “Are the other girls ready?” I asked, referring to two of our other friends who were coming with us.

  “Brittany is here and Jo just called, she’s filling up the motor home with gas and will be over to get us!” Dana said. Brittany was a twenty-nine year old blonde double-D who worked for Dana part-time. She was a lot of fun to be around, but not the sharpest pencil in the box. Jo lived next door to Lex and I for eight years and we became each other’s shoulder to cry on when our marriages were falling apart. She, unlike myself, got just about everything when she and Rick divorced, of course he was sleeping with a co-worker. So Jo was able to be a stay-at-home mom with their two kids.

  “Pour me a glass of wine, I’ll be there soon!” I smiled as I hung up. I needed to let loose this weekend and have some fun. Maybe if I saw Jason I’d take him back to the motor home and show him I could do more than give head. Maybe I’d show my tits again, maybe, just maybe, I’d meet someone new.

  Chapter 3

  As Frank and I pulled up at Dana’s house, my stomach started again. I’ve got to get something to eat soon. It was like there were a hundred butterflies in there! I popped the trunk and grabbed my suitcase and overnight bag.

  “Sweet ride!” Brittany yelled as she came bouncing across the lawn to greet me.

  “Thanks,” I said as I pushed the lock button and stuck the keys in my purse. “He was a gift to myself when I got divorced. I’d always wanted another Camaro like I had in high school. His name is Frank.”

  “You named your car?” Brittany sounded confused.

  “Yes, and I talk to him sometimes, too.” I just wanted to confuse her a little more.

  “Oh, okay then, let’s get your stuff in the motor home and hit the road!” she said as I saw Dana and Jo headed our way.

  Dana already had herself all rocked out. She looked like that chick in the rock videos, the one who was sliding all over the car. Jo was a little more reserved, she was wearing blue jeans, a white tank, and a jean jacket. Brittany had her double-Ds shoved into a black lacy tank top that looked two sizes too small and Daisy Dukes that hugged her ass. She was younger than the rest of us, so the 80's hair bands look didn’t mean much to her, although she looked totally amazing and could probably snag any guy she wanted to, including the band members. I still had my office attire on, so I had to get ready on our two hour drive up to the festival.

  Dana ran up and gave me a huge hug. “Hey, sweetie, how was your day?” I could tell she had started drinking.

  “It was long. The whole building has Monday off though, some kind of inspection, so I have the next three days to relax!”

  “Wow, that’s awesome for you. I know how hard you work and you totally need this! Brittany, grab Gia a glass of wine!” Dana could be so bossy; I could just imagine how she ordered Brittany around at work. Somehow she didn’t even seem to notice. She just bounced around following Dana’s orders, it was actually kind of entertaining.

  Jo was double checking everything on the motor home. You could tell she was a mother of two, making sure all was taken care of so we’d have a safe trip. “Thanks so much for driving and letting us all shack up with you,” I told her as I put my stuff in the door.

  “Absolutely!” she said. “I’m so excited for this, as much as I love taking care of the kids and all their stuff, I’m still a woman with needs, and I need a party weekend!” She gave me a wink and a hug.

  Brittany showed up with my glass of wine and we all climbed up into the motor home. As I took my first sip, I couldn’t stop the butterflies from fluttering around in my stomach. Did it know something I didn’t about this weekend?

  ***

  As we pulled out of the driveway, I began to change out of my dress, and with each article of clothing I took off, I felt myself getting further from my real life and closer to the life I was going to live this weekend.

  I pulled on my button-fly jeans with intentional rips in them, my retro AC/DC t-shirt, which was thin and faded even though it was new, a belt with silver studs, short black leather boots with spike heels, and a worn black leather jacket. Then I applied black eyeliner, neat but thick, and ratted up my normally straight light brown hair. There, now I needed another glass of wine, a Marlboro red, and something to eat, and I was ready to rock.

  As I made my way to the front of the motor home where Dana and Brittany were keeping Jo company as she drove, I was wondering to myself how we would all look on our way home on Sunday. What the mood would be, who would’ve gotten laid, who would’ve got puking drunk, who would’ve shown their tits to anyone and everyone. I smiled, this was going to be one fun weekend!

  ***

  At eight o’clock we pulled into the huge campground that bordered the concert area. The place was packed with campers, tents, buses, vans, anything you could crash in and get a few hours sleep. I was so grateful for Jo and her motor home. She could maneuver it to go wherever she wanted and even backed it into our spot like a pro. Our spot, by the way, sixty-nine, made me think of Jason and what I may do to him later. I’d finished my third glass of wine and drunken horniness was setting in. I’d better get something to eat.

  “Who’s hungry?” I asked, hoping someone else hadn’t eaten yet.

  “Starving!” Jo said, “And then I need to start drinking to catch up with all of you!”
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  We had all pitched in and Jo went shopping during the week for food and beverages and stocked the fridge and two coolers. We decided on sandwiches and raw veggies so we didn’t have to waste time cooking. Dana and Brittany said they had already eaten, but I was pretty sure they just wanted to check out who was camped next to us. Plus, eating would’ve ruined their buzz and they were definitely buzzed.

  “We’re going to wander out while you two are eating, be back in fifteen minutes,” Dana called as they were almost knocking each other down to get out the door.

  Jo and I just relaxed, ate our dinner and visited about the bands we were most excited to see this weekend. She was such a beautiful woman, inside and out, and I felt really lucky to have had her in my life while Lex and I were having so many issues, and to have her in my life still. While she chatted, I made her a double vodka tonic and cleaned up.

  We decided to set up our chairs outside on our little lawn and wait for the girls to get back. “I knew they wouldn’t be back in fifteen minutes,” I said as I settled into my chair and lit a cigarette. It was all good though, we had plenty of time to get to the arena before the ten o’clock concert kicked off the rock festival. We were completely content watching the passersby, checking out all the hot guys, visiting with a few of them as they stopped to say hi and check us out, I supposed. People watching at those types of venues was so entertaining, there were all kinds. We saw a sixty plus year old man in a Speedo, a topless gal with body paint, which looked like a bikini top, and a clown, yes, literally a clown!

  About 9:15 p.m. Dana and Brittany returned, so we all grabbed whatever we needed and headed to the shuttle that would drive us over to the arena. While we waited, I couldn’t help but fixate on a couple beside me who were having the most erotic make-out session I had ever seen in public. The pleasantly plump, yet beautiful girl was riding the dude’s leg like she was on one of those spring horses and he was sticking his tongue so deep into her mouth I was sure she was going to gag up something any moment. Even though it was disgusting and even a little disturbing, it was totally turning me on and I couldn’t look away. As their rhythm picked up, my breathing picked up. Luckily the shuttle arrived or I may have passed out.